


Married Christmas

by wigglebox



Series: Post-SPN, Canon/Headcanon Universe [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: (but not graphic), 15x20 doesn't exist, Canon Compliant, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Fluff, Headcanon, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Human Jack Kline, Idiots in Love, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Miscommunication, Post-Finale, Sex, Wedding Rings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:35:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27741619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wigglebox/pseuds/wigglebox
Summary: Time has passed since the dust settled and everything had been put "right". Things once seen as impossible in Dean's eyes is now tangible to him. All it needs is a wedding band and the promise of a future full of love and happiness.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Post-SPN, Canon/Headcanon Universe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2040389
Comments: 110
Kudos: 483





	1. Chapter 1

Fluff prompts: Help, I think I saw my boyfriend buying a ring for me? I've been holding onto MY ring for THEM for two months waiting for the right moment to propose!

Out of everything Cas had going for him, discretion remained elusive. 

Last-minute Christmas shopping forced them to take the nearly three-hour trip to Lincoln. Dean hated malls, but over the years, at least learned to enjoy Cas’s reaction to them (especially the food court). 

He had claimed the night before that there were still several items on his list for Sam and Eileen, which immediately triggered Dean’s “bullshit” meter. In other years, Cas had gotten his shopping done before Thanksgiving, bragging about it whenever Dean had mentioned he still needed to figure things out a week before Christmas. 

But, Dean didn’t press him. Truth be told he could probably buy an extra thing for Sam and Jack—Eileen he already splurged on. And also, Dean just liked watching Cas window shop. It’s been years now and still Cas found everything completely _new_ and wonderful and the light in his eyes always put a smile on Dean’s face. 

The downside always remained the people. Food, great—Cas’s mood, amazing—crowd? Dean hated the holiday shopping crowd; folks scrambling around, doing their last-minute Christmas shopping and the worst thing was Dean couldn’t make fun of them because there he was, walking alongside Cas who himself decided to do last-minute Christmas shopping—

At the tail end of the hour, as they rounded a corner at the other end of the mall with Dean complaining loudly that he wanted Cinnabons, Cas suddenly stopped. 

“I have to use the restroom,” he declared, standing in the middle of the hall. 

Dean turned back to him, frowning in confusion. Cas looked nervous and bizarre, just standing in the middle of people’s walking paths, staring at Dean. 

“Okay—do you know where they are?”

Cas nodded, but still didn’t move. Dean walked back over to him and smirked.

“Do you need my help?” 

Cas’s eyes widened slightly at the suggestion and shifted focus to the escalator nearby that led up to the Macy’s. They did some dirty things in that dressing room last year, and for a moment, Dean thought that’s what Cas was trying to hint at again. A restroom in the middle of the holiday shopping season would prove to be a challenge, but—

But Cas shook his head and tilted his head behind him. 

“I’ll be right back, here,” he handed the bag from William Sonoma to Dean, turned, and walked back down the other way. 

Dean watched for a moment before turning back to the Cinnabon counter. He ordered eight mini-rolls and watched the space behind him, waiting for Cas to return. The place seemed more packed than usual and Dean hoped they could just _leave_ when Cas got back. The claustrophobia started to build. 

After his half of the rolls were gone, and scrolling on his phone for another few minutes, Dean looked back up at the crowd, still not seeing Cas. 

He frowned and glanced at his phone again for the time. Cas had been gone nearly ten minutes and the bathroom was only just down the hall. 

_Maybe there’s a line_. 

Maybe. 

But panic, fueled by Dean’s already growing discomfort, already started to spike. Dean’s leg started to bounce on the stool and he kept his eyes on the corner where Cas would come out of—

Another few minutes, still nothing. 

_Maybe it’s a big line_

Phone still in hand, Dean tapped out a quick message:

1:56 p.m.

**Hey, you good?**

He waited two minutes for a response. Nothing. 

1:58 p.m.

**Been gone a while**

Dean watched as the display clock ticked over to 2 p.m. 

Swearing to himself, earning a glare from the woman sitting next to him, Dean called Cas, trying to ignore the sick feeling of dread forming in the pit of his stomach. Cas always responded. 

But Cas didn’t pick up the phone either. 

Dean stood, ears ringing slightly, and grabbed the container of rolls and the bag, rushing to the corner. As he got there, he told himself—forced himself—to chill out. Cas was an adult—no one kidnapped him, he had nothing of value on him, and they were in a crowded mall with thousands of people. Plus, they could fight, Cas could fight, even without special cosmic powers. 

_He’s fine, stop being a worried mother,_ Dean chastised himself as he pushed through the crowd, earning some more glares. _He probably has his phone on silent_.

Dean reached the offshoot hallway that led to the restrooms and sure enough, a line had formed for both men and women. He walked down the hall, staring at the men’s line. 

Nothing. 

Dean went into the room itself, ignoring the sounds of protest behind him.

“Cas?” Dean called out. No one answered.

The panic he had managed to dampen moments before began to rear its ugly head again. He moved back down the hall, heart beating a mile a minute, checking his phone to see if Cas had texted back. 

Nothing still. 

As Dean moved out of the offshoot hallway and back into the larger walkway, he paused, trying to decide which direction to go in. Maybe he and Cas just missed each other and now Cas was the one at the Cinnabon counter and—

Dean’s eyes stopped on the jewelry store across the way, sitting on another corner with its large, tinted windows spanning the entire shop. There were several people in there, helped by the workers, but one of the shoppers looked familiar. 

Moving closer, Dean saw Cas standing at the counter in the middle of the store, talking with one of the workers. He was older with a kind smile on his face. In his hands, he held a black velvet ring box, holding it up for Cas to inspect. 

Whatever ice grip held Dean’s heart in fear melted instantly as he saw Cas’s face light up with a wide smile, nodding at the man with approval while handing over his credit card. 

He was buying a ring.

Dean backed away into the crowd, eyes wide, heart still racing but now with a different kind of adrenaline. 

_He’s buying a ring. It’s a ring. That was a ring._

Glancing back, he saw Cas reaching over the counter, thanking the man while they shook hands. Cas tucked the ring box, wrapped in a blue plastic, into his jacket pocket and waved as he turned to head out the door. 

Without looking back, Dean buried himself in the crowd and pushed his way back through to head back to the Cinnabon counter before Cas could see him. His heart and head raced against each other, trying to out-do the other with rationalizations.

_He said he had to buy things for Sam and Eileen—maybe he was just picking something up for them—that’s what all this was about—_

But that argument fizzled before it could take off in Dean’s head. Sam and Eileen already had rings, bought last year, proposed on her birthday. 

Dean tried not to put the cart before the horse and think the ring was for him but as he leaned against the pillar by the counter, too buzzed to sit, his mind immediately began throwing off imaginary scenarios of some kind of proposal. 

But Cas wasn’t alone in his gesture.

Two months prior, when Jack stopped by for a few days, Dean quietly slipped out and drove to the jewelers in Red Cloud. A smaller, less fancier place but it had engravings as part of the package and Dean walked away with a gold band with their names inscribed on the inside with the date they first “met”. 

Dean classified it as an impulse buy, acting off of a dream he had several days prior—he didn’t have an exact plan or timeframe in which he was going to do it, and the thought of actually _doing it_ freaked him out even more. Never in his life did he think he’d spend money on an engagement ring, or give it to someone, or actually go through with the process of _getting_ married or at least be in a long-term committed relationship but, here he was. 

Deep down, Dean acknowledged one of the driving causes of his fear was hearing Cas say “No”.

But now, seeing Cas buy that ring, Dean inadvertently got his answer. It’s a yes. 

_It’s a yes_ , Dean repeated to himself, trying to keep his feet on the ground. The surge of happiness alone was enough to—

“Sorry that took so long, I saw your messages.”

A voice sliced through Dean’s thoughts as he stared at the ground and he looked up. Cas stood in front of him, trying his hardest to keep a straight face. Dean cleared his throat, having to look back down again, otherwise _he’d_ lose it too, and handed Cas the box with his half of the rolls.

“It’s okay.”

“There was a long line—”

Dean smiled and they started to walk toward the escalator. 

“I figured. This place is crammed.”

Cas’s hands remained in his jacket pocket and Dean didn’t make a comment. This was Cas’s surprise, but Dean’s head kept throwing out those Christmas time scenarios, Cas down on one knee, quickly followed by Dean bringing out his own surprise, also meeting him on one knee. 

Merry Christmas indeed.


	2. The Proposal

Based on two and a half weeks of speculation and rationalization, Dean concluded that Cas would pop the question on Christmas Eve. 

One night, after Cas had asked to confirm the date of their trip to the Ozarks, Dean panicked, thinking he would have to wait until July to see that ring—but Cas just had to tell Jack the dates were different that year. 

With that momentary freak out passed, Dean mulled over any other dates in his head, September, the anniversary when Cas chose to stay with them after it all? Birthday? Maybe Dean’s birthday? That was by the end of January—not too far off—

But in the end, Dean settled on Christmas Eve. He couldn’t think of another reason for Cas to have bought that ring so close to the holiday, and Christmas meant so much to them as the years went on. To Dean, it made the most sense.

The one outlier of rational thought was that Cas had bought the ring with the same lack of a plan that Dean did—so maybe it _wouldn’t_ surface until Cas developed confidence. In that case, it’d be a race between them, but one where each one tried to go as slow as possible. Dean couldn’t stop thinking about how long they danced around each other already. He didn’t want time to get away from them again. 

The night before Christmas Eve, Dean couldn’t sleep or even think about sleeping. He didn’t toss and turn much to avoid Cas asking what was wrong. Odds were that Dean wouldn’t keep his mouth shut if he were asked.

By morning, adrenaline buzzed through Dean like a constant electric current.

Every little move Cas made, Dean prepared himself. 

Going to get a tray of cookies? Now’s the time. Placing another gift under the tree? Now. Final guests arrive mid-morning? Surely _now—_

It took all of Dean’s effort to not look at the corner of the library where the ring he bought sat, tucked behind some books, causing them to stick out slightly. He’d to somehow get it without drawing notice to himself—but the fact that Dean didn’t know _when_ —

“Are you okay?” 

Cas’s voice brought Dean back out of his thoughts as he spaced out, holding a basket of snacks in the kitchen. Everyone had crowded into the TV den to throw a Christmas movie on before dinner, leaving Dean and Cas alone. 

_Alone_. 

Now was the time. It had to be. 

“Yeah,” Dean choked out, clearing his throat, “Just—thinking.”

“Good or bad?” 

Dean looked over at Cas with a reassuring smile.

“Good.”

All day he hadn’t been near Cas as they had to entertain guests, cook things, kicking Sam out of the kitchen; But now, this close, Dean could see the visible restraint on Cas’s face too. His smile hit his eyes but it looked hesitant, like if he went _too_ far with it, it’d give the game away. But however strained his face was, Cas’s eyes still shone with a bright excitement, even in the dim lighting of the kitchen.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Cas asked.

Dean couldn’t keep the smile off his face and realized he probably looked a little crazy.

“Okay is a relative term,” Dean responded, wondering if right there, right _there—_

Cas glanced at the kitchen door as someone down the hall laughed and put his own basket of food back on the counter. 

“Do you want to get some fresh air?” His voice stayed quiet, even though no one was around. Dean almost didn’t hear him. The words kickstarted a rapid heartbeat, temporarily causing ringing in his ears. He couldn’t open his mouth to say _yes_. The trust that he’d keep it together dissolved with Cas’s question.

Nodding, Dean set his own basket down, leading Cas out of the kitchen to grab their coats. 

_Now, now now now now now now—_

As they suited up for the cold, heading to the garage, Dean suddenly stopped. He almost forgot—

“I have to go get my phone.”

Cas glanced back at him as he made his way to the car and nodded his head in acknowledgement. The nerves were beginning to show on his face. Cas couldn’t even look at Dean for more than half a second. 

Dean rushed back to the library, hoping no one would see him and ask questions. Now wasn’t the time for questions. Dean was on a mission. 

But everyone had remained in the TV den, and now Dean could hear the yells of Marv and Harry. Someone put Home Alone on, one of Jack’s favorites. Dean glanced around regardless, just to make sure. Not a single person, or dog, in sight.

In the clear. 

Dean hurried back to the garage, seeing Cas already inside the car, looking down at something in his lap and frowning. Closing the door behind him, Dean also looked down at the floor, giving Cas the opportunity to put whatever he had back in his pocket. 

“Ready?” Dean asked, sliding into the driver’s seat, flashing Cas a grin. There was comfort in knowing Cas’s nerves seemed to match Dean’s. 

“Fresh air” to them didn’t mean a simple walk down the street to a nearby park, or just standing around outside the Bunker in ankle deep snow. 

Over the years they had several “fresh air” trips which landed them always at Glen Elder park, about forty minutes away.

The first one had happened only months after Cas came back, deciding to stay with them. A hunt had gone wrong, nearly fatal, and Dean completely lost it by the time they got back to the Bunker. The conversation on both ends escalated into shouts, only furthering Dean’s panic, which in turn, fueled Cas’s. 

That’s when he had grabbed the keys, and Cas, and drove. 

They wound up at Glen Elder at one in the morning after a tangible tense, car ride. There, they sat for nearly two hours, laying everything on the table while the moon hung over them, watching as they decided that maybe they should take a step back from hunting, helping when needed; that they needed to start focusing on a _life_ , and not on a constant fear of death or losing one another just after they were finally able to be together.

Another “fresh air” trip happened when Cas had a particularly bad night terror, one he couldn’t shake off like the others, and it was well into the next day that he asked Dean if they could go get some “fresh air”. 

They wound up back at Glen Elder, full of people enjoying the sunny day. Cas stayed silent as Dean gathered together some fishing gear from the trunk of the car. What Cas often needed when he couldn’t shake the “bad” off was people. Sometimes he needed silence, and only Dean, but most of the time he needed to be around people to help settle himself. When Dean had asked, Cas only responded with “It’s a reminder”, and never elaborated, but Dean didn’t need him to.

They had wound up at Glen Elder several other times, sometimes to sooth whatever nightmares had held onto them tight the night before, sometimes just wanting to have some time to themselves, others to have more significant conversations, to work through issues and bust through walls that couldn’t be shoved under the rug anymore, all in order to make whatever it was they had work. 

And now, as Dean drove, the radio turned to a station playing only Christmas songs, Glen Elder would soon mean much more to them than before. 

Hopefully.

They drove south out of town as the sun began to set. The snow that had fallen two days prior had hardly melted even under the afternoon sun, and practically glowed in the fading light. Dean chanced a quick glance over at Cas who had his head turned the other way, watching as they passed homes, also filled to capacity with people, a store, the roadhouse—

“Glad Eric finally went home,” Dean mumbled, happy to see no cars in the parking lot. Closed for Christmas. Company rule.

“He’s dedicated,” Cas responded, still watching as the landscape passed them by. 

“Yeah, but he also has a family and every time I’d go in there and he told me he pulled his millionth all-nighter, I feel guilty.”

“Nothing to feel guilty over. He’s the boss,” Cas said, sounding strained. Any other night, Dean’s concern over Cas’s despondent attitude would grow, but it practically made him giddy at this point. As soon as the “yes!” flies out of Dean’s mouth, Cas’s face will light up like a Christmas tree, and Dean couldn’t wait.

They had the park to themselves and Dean silently cheered to himself. Proposals were great and all but they were still in rural Kansas, and he didn’t need paranoia and anxiety clouding the moment, fearful some Kyle in a camouflage trucker hat peering over their shoulders.

A thin layer of ice blanketed the snow and made a satisfying crunch with every step. It didn’t snow much out there, and Dean treasured each time it did. 

A few lonely birds called out to each other, but other than that, all Cas and Dean had for company was the snow under their feet and the waves of Waconda Lake trying to break free of their icy barrier. They were out in the open, but Dean felt enclosed, like they entered their own world as soon as they stepped out of the car. 

They walked over to their picnic table, always in the same spot, initials still carved underneath the wood. No matter when they went to the park, no matter the crowd, that table never had anyone else at it.

Dean watched as Cas put his free hand in his coat pocket while they walked, his other hand grabbing Dean’s. Holding his breath, Dean kept his eyes on the path, trying to calm himself down again. Any second, they’d stop, Cas would say words that Dean wouldn’t remember right away because his brain would be short-circuiting, and would get down on one knee… or maybe not because of the snow—

But it didn’t happen, and they reached the picnic table in silence. Cas took his hand out of his pocket, holding nothing, and at that point, Dean wanted to scream. 

That’d get things going maybe. Just screaming into the air, scaring the birds. 

Sitting, Dean took a deep breath to try and get back to a normal level of sanity. 

“So what’s going on?” Cas asked. Dean couldn’t look at him. 

“Nothing,” he answered, tapping his foot. Impatience, bundled with nerves, started to build inside him. “Sometimes thinking is just thinking.”

“You look upset.”

Dean swallowed hard, looking up at Cas, ready to tell him that no he wasn’t upset—

And saw the smile. 

A very knowing smile. 

A very teasing, very knowing, very _telling_ smile. 

“What. What?” Dean asked, confused.

Cas’s hand went back into his coat pocket, and Dean could _taste_ the adrenaline now spiking through him. 

“I think you have something in your pocket,” Cas answered, eyes bright, even in the fading sunlight, all traces of the thoughtful attitude in the car gone. 

At long last, Dean finally saw the ring box, held tight in Cas’s hand. Small, black velvet, standard—but Dean didn’t truly grasp how much he needed to see it up close until right then. It was like Cas waved a million dollars in front of his face.

Clearing his throat, Dean sat up straight, trying to collect himself. 

“You think I have something in my pocket?” he asked, unable to stop looking at the ring box, wanting Cas to just _open_ it. Dean had a million _yes yes yes yes_ ’s lined up. 

“Your phone was in your back pocket when you said you had to go get it,” Cas said, a smile still on his face. 

“That doesn’t mean anything—”

“And you kept staring at the corner in the library for two weeks.”

“That doesn’t—”

“The books were out of place. And I saw you outside the window at the mall.”

Cas had Dean trapped. Heart racing, trying to claw its way out of Dean’s chest, he automatically reached into his coat pocket and retrieved his own little black ring box, the one that had sat patiently in the corner of the library for nearly three months at that point. 

“When did you notice it?”

Cas now was the one who couldn’t take his eyes off the ring box, staring transfixed at the little thing in Dean’s hand. 

“I think the day after you bought it,” Cas answered, “I finished my book and wanted a new one. I saw the books and when I pushed them back in—”

“I really thought I found a good spot. No one ever goes over there,” Dean mumbled, glancing out over the frozen lake. He frowned, confused. “So you knew this was there but you still bought one?”

Cas nodded, looking down, “Well I already had plans to do it, and I wasn’t technically supposed to see yours, so I pretended I didn’t.”

Dean laughed as the breeze picked up, sending a shiver running through him. The sun had nearly finished its descent beyond the horizon and the temperature dropped along with it. 

“So who’s going first?” he asked with a smile. 

“You bought yours first.”

“Yeah but you had, like, a plan clearly—”

Cas shook his head, “No, I suggested we come out here because you seemed to be struggling to find a quiet moment to do it.”

A pause.

“Are you telling me you didn’t plan on doing this today?”

Cas paused. 

“I thought you were going to and I was going to when you did.”

Dean laughed again, spurred on by the confused look now on Cas’s face. 

“I thought _you_ were going to and _I_ was going to when _you_ did,” he explained, looking back down at his own box, turning it over in his hand. Cas watched him, frowning.

“But you bought yours first—you didn’t have a plan?” 

Settling himself, Dean shook his head. 

“No, not anything concrete. I didn’t know when I was—I also was just too nervous.”

“Nervous over what?” Cas asked, “That I’d say no?”

Dean glanced at Cas before nodding, focusing back on the ring box. All the words he had wanted to say for months lined up in his mouth, ready to come out in a rush. 

_Guess I’m going first_.

“I understood at a pretty young age that I’d never get to this point in life, not just this,” Dean held up the box, “But even making it to this age, this—everything. I don’t think it’s a shock to you I didn’t really plan on living past thirty. I mean—I almost didn’t, several times. And then just—with everything—point is, I never planned on getting to any of this. I didn’t even allow myself to think about it.”

Dean took a deep breath, looking back up at Cas who had the ghost of a sympathetic look on his face. He knew to reel it in, however. Dean had said once before that looks of pity made him feel even worse.

“And then you came, and I still—I wouldn’t allow myself to go anywhere near this kind of future with a ten foot pole,” Dean continued with a deep sigh, “It was easier to accept nothing was gonna come out of my trying, which is why it took me—which is why I just learned to keep my mouth shut. I couldn’t get hurt if I didn’t put myself out there to get hurt. You know? And I think that all came back when I bought this.”

“So why did you?” Cas asked quietly.

Dean paused. He didn’t expect that question. 

“I had a dream, a really good one, and it just latched onto me and wouldn’t let go,” Dean explained, “I had to keep reminding myself that what it showed me wasn’t out of the realm of possibility anymore, and the only thing stopping me was me. But then after I bought it, just—everything came flooding back so I put it away until I felt like I could push all of it aside.”

The one thing he knew was that Cas could relate to all of it, if just on a slightly different level. Neither of them ever foresaw a good future for themselves on an individual level. But, that line of thinking abruptly changed once the dust settled and they were left standing there together, willing to finally embrace the truth.

“And when I saw you buy that ring the other week, I honestly wanted to just jump you in the mall I was—it’s been _years_ and it’s still strange sometimes to say that I was just _happy_ ,” Dean said, remembering his freak out that day, his head and heart racing a mile a minute, “To me, it was a yes without you realizing I had even asked the question yet. But I didn’t want to ask first since I felt bad stumbling onto the surprise.”

Cas smiled and looked down, staying quiet. Dean almost wanted to just jump him right there as well. 

“So why did you?” Dean asked. It was Cas’s turn now. 

“Why did I what?” 

“Why did you say yes?” 

“I haven’t said yes yet.”

Dean scoffed and knocked his knee against Cas’s. Visibly hesitating, Cas’s smile weakened on his face, unable to look up at Dean. The nerves clearly returned. Dean knew better than to push. 

“If it was a strange concept to you, something you never even thought of, then I didn’t even—” Cas eventually started, pausing for a moment to think, “—I didn’t even think something like this was remotely possible. I didn’t give thought to it at all. If none of this was supposed to happen to you, then, I don’t know… for me it was too far out of reach. I didn’t even think about it until the immediate present.”

Despite being around each other for nearly two decades, despite even seeing Cas’s true form before he chose to give it up, despite seeing him do what he did all the time—Dean sometimes still had to take a moment to process how long of a life Cas had. He’d been there since the very beginning of… everything.

During their first “fresh air” trip to Glen Elder, Dean remembered voicing a lengthy monologue on his fear over Cas and how his time with Dean was a blink of an eye in comparison to how old Cas was, and how much logner Cas could have gone on had it not given up the Angel side of life, and that he was terrified someday Cas would realize that and leave—

Of course, those fears were unfounded, and Cas told him that, simply and softly.

But the thought still came to Dean from time to time, though less frequently as their lives together continued: “Why me?”

_Why me?_

_Why are you saying yes?_

Cas reached for Dean’s free hand again and Dean gave him a little squeeze of encouragement to continue talking. 

“I’ll be honest, I never saw the point of it. My understanding was ‘if you love someone, isn’t that enough? Why do you need a ring, or an elaborate ceremony?’. I never understood marriage or even engagements,” Cas sighed, “But last year when we were all at the lake and Sam and Eileen did it—I understood then. I think I had been on that path to understanding anyway but it took seeing someone up close doing it for me to _really_ understand.”

That day last summer had completely thrown everyone for a loop. It wasn’t shocking that it happened, but Dean still had forgotten that a long, long time ago, Sam had discussed getting married and having a family, mostly out of spite every time their father went off on one of his spiels about “the life” and “doing what had to be done”. It was a brief conversation they had when Sam neared the end of his senior year of high school, but there was also another quieter conversation after the initial shock wore off after Jessica died. 

Sam had mentioned that he had left a hidden ring behind in the apartment, “probably burnt to hell now”, and had intended to propose on her upcoming birthday. That was all Sam revealed, he didn’t go into specifics, and Dean didn’t ask questions. He knew better than that. 

“Seeing how happy they were, and then seeing those rings on their hands since, made it… I don’t know how to accurately describe it—made it loud?” Cas continued, keeping his eyes on their hands as he ran his thumb back and forth absentmindedly, “Not that you need rings to show each other the level of love that should already be there, but that it clearly showed it to everyone else. It’s… expressive. Telling everyone around that your love belongs to someone, and they love you equally back. You don’t have to explain it.”

_You can have me. You_ can _have me. And I can have you_. Dean’s words from years ago came surging back into his mind as he swallowed hard, staring at Cas’s empty ring finger. He really wanted to see the gold band on it, pronto. 

“We spent so many years being quiet,” Cas said, sounding sad at the thought, “And it almost became permanent more than once. This was me thinking that we can be loud. I think we earned it.”

Dean smiled as he looked up at Cas who looked nervous still. 

“Does that make sense?” Cas asked, and Dean nodded. 

“Yeah, it does,” he answered, squeezing Cas’s hand again, “It’s why I bought a ring too. The dream was just flashes of random—whatever here and there but in each one, you had it on your finger and I couldn’t stop looking. And then when I woke up I couldn’t stop thinking about _why_ I couldn’t stop looking.

Dean took a deep breath, glancing at where the sun finally vanished below the horizon. 

“I want to be loud too,” Dean explained, “I basically fell into the same line of thinking, that ‘we spent so many years being quiet or holding everything back, and I don’t want that anymore. There’s just something I think about _seeing_ it—like, seeing you is enough but seeing you with that just... ”

He paused. He wanted to say it, but didn’t know how without sounding—

“It’s telling everyone that we belong to each other. You belong to me, I belong to you,” Cas provided, and Dean nodded his confirmation. He realized how possessive it sounded but it was true, and they’ve said it in so many ways in various areas be it at the park or in the bedroom. This was just a tangible demonstration, fit for the world to see. 

“I never knew what this kind of a committed relationship would look like,” Dean said, “And it scared me, and like I said I didn’t think I’d ever truly find one in the first place—and now that I’m here...”

Dean trailed off, finally reaching the end of the road on manageable words and thoughts. He knew Cas understood, because of course he did, and of course Dean understood Cas. Once they had gotten onto the same page years ago, they never left. 

No more teasing passed between them as another cold breeze blew through. Cas kept Dean’s hand in his own as he worked to open the ring box himself with his other. Dean reached over and held it while Cas opened the top, but didn’t look.

“Help me with mine, we can look at the same time,” he whispered, and Cas obeyed. 

Both boxes opened, they held them in front of each other to look, and Dean’s eyes widened.

“Did you look inside mine when you found it?”

“No—I put the books back. I didn’t want to ruin the surprise completely,” Cas answered, frowning at Dean’s ring, which bore a great likeness to the other one—

“Is there… is there writing on yours?” Dean asked, confused. 

Cas nodded, “It’s inscribed on the inside with our names and then the date we first ‘met’ more or less. I thought it’d be nice.”

Dean looked up at Cas for a moment then laughed, and laughed, and couldn’t stop laughing as Cas took Dean’s ring box and held it up to his face for inspection. 

“Did we get the same ones?”

Unable to say anything, Dean moved forward and caught Cas in a quick kiss. 

They did. 

They bought the same exact ring. Not only that, but—

“We wrote the same thing,” Dean explained, wiping away the tears of laughter forming before they froze, “Look at it.”

Cas the box and saw the inscription, the same exact one, on the underside, his smiling growing wide. 

“Well, either we are both highly unimaginative or have the—what’s it called? The—”

“Vulcan mind meld, and I think this was pretty creative of us… so I’ll go with telepathy,” Dean said, taking the box back from Cas. He started to remove it from its little holder when he paused.

“What?” Cas asked, going to do the same with his. 

“You didn’t say yes or not yet,” Dean teased, continuing taking the ring out of the box, but slower.

“You didn’t answer either,” Cas countered, holding the ring he bought in his hand and setting his box on the table. Dean followed. 

“Well you didn’t ask.”

“Well you didn’t either.”

“Cas?”

“Hm?”

“I’m getting cold over here.”

Cas smiled but said nothing, looking down at their hands, ready to go. 

Dean couldn’t wait anymore. The dam broke. 

“Will you marry me?”

“Will you marry me?”

They spoke at the same time, forever on the same page, and Dean should have figured it would have happened. It’s not actually that they were on the same page, but more like the same paragraph, or sentence—the same words. With how the evening had progressed, with how the last several years of their life had progressed, it was only fitting they’d ask the same question at the same time holding the same rings inscribed with the same words and date. 

They got their quick laughter out of the way and took a breath at the same time, now planning for it:

“Yes.”

Dean never figured a simple word would cause such an impact but through the smiles as they slipped the rings onto each other’s fingers, he felt yet another wall, one of the final ones he had left, crumble. Each step forward locked them both into place without the ability to look back.

Not that neither of them wanted to. 

Despite the temperature outside, they remained in the final vestiges of light that tried its hardest to illuminate the moment, unable to let each other go until they kissed each other breathless.

They crossed one milestone of many to come, adding to the ones they’ve accomplished already. Like the others, Dean had an underlying ripple of nerves, just below the surface, but not of dread. 

Anticipation fueled him, both of them, eager to learn how to break down the rest of the walls, and to keep moving forward.

_Together_.


	3. Interlude

They took bets on the ride home on who would notice first. 

There were several pairs of eyes in that bunker that night but the holidays always dulled people’s perception, and Dean bet that the first one would be Eileen but that she wouldn’t notify anyone else or show any kind of reaction. 

Cas guessed that Garth would actually be the first one because “He just seems like the kind of person to always notice something happy before anyone else.” 

“If no one says anything, who do you think the last one’ll be?” Dean asked, trying his hardest to keep his eyes on the road and not on Cas’s hand entwined with his own, feeling the metal of the ring.

They both paused and glanced at each other before both saying “Sam”, laughter bursting out of them, riding the giddy waves of adrenaline from earlier. 

“If no one says anything, how long do you think it’ll take Sam to notice?” Cas asked.

Dean thought about it for a moment. Sam wasn’t oblivious to his surroundings but with the busy nature of the holidays combined with packing for a trip he and Eileen were taking for New Years, he wasn’t paying that much attention to anything else—

“If no one says anything and we don’t act any differently, then it’ll take him three days. Maybe. If he doesn’t realize it before he leaves, then that’s a solid two weeks Eileen would have to keep it to herself.”

“You think she would?”

Dean nodded, “Yeah ‘cause it’s funny as hell and she wouldn’t ruin that.”

Deep down, in the honest part of himself, Dean acknowledged that he did worry slightly about reaction on the whole, but especially from Sam. There wasn’t any worry that Sam wouldn’t accept it, but even years after the dust settled, Dean could tell it was hard for Sam to let go of certain ways of looking at things. If Dean couldn’t ever imagine a ring on his finger, then Sam probably didn’t even entertain the _thought_ of imagining it. 

It wasn’t what Dean did, it wasn’t what Dean strived for. Marriage was the last thing on either of their minds for a long while. Sam entertained the idea with Jessica and it grew back with Eileen but apart from one or two conversations, Dean and Sam never discussed it, especially Dean’s decisions regarding any kind of future. There had been vague “well maybe” as the years went on but that was it. No details. No specifics.

Dean just hoped Sam didn’t ask too many questions because Dean wasn’t sure where the answers were. 

All of the reasons that complied in his head and made up his decision was difficult for Dean to discern. He was lucky he was able to at least get some, if not all, of it out to Cas at Glen Elder in one go. But talking to Cas about everything was completely different than talking to Sam about it. 

Lost in his thoughts, Dean felt Cas squeeze his hand and he looked over to see Cas’s smile had dissolved into a sadder expression, one of worry. 

“Yeah I’m okay,” Dean said, clearing his throat, answering the unspoken question, “Just trying to brace myself to be psychoanalysed by Sam whenever he figures it all out.”

A soft, short huff of laughter escaped Cas as he turned to look out the road passing by them. 

“I’ve been figuring out how to answer all of Jack’s inevitable questions as well,” Cas said, “Assuming he asks any. I hope he kind of gets it.”

“I think he’ll have an easier understanding of your end of all of this than Sam will with me.”

“That’s a fair assumption.”

The lapsed into silence as the lights from the homes on the outskirts of Lebanon grew brighter in the distance. As they approached the roadhouse, Dean’s focus shifted to the small, ramshackled and forgotten house that they’d pass by first. 

Whenever he had looked outside the windows while at work, due south, he saw that house sitting in the sun, or the rain, or the snow, just waiting for someone to rescue it. 

Dean always put that thought away, ignoring it whenever it sparked some interest again, knowing that it would be a far off endeavor should he even want to tackle it—

But now as they passed by it in the dark, Dean couldn’t help but keep his eyes on it, glancing at it through his own window. 

_One new thing at a time_ , Dean’s brain chided him, keeping him focused. 

One new thing at a time. 

They somehow managed to slip back into the house without anyone noticing. 

No one waited in the kitchen, no one sat at the tables—judging by the noise, everyone was still crammed inside the TV den. 

“Get some food or something,” Dean instructed Cas, grabbing the baskets they had left earlier. Cas obeyed and led the way out of the kitchen and down the hall without a word.

Dean’s face already started to warm up with the anticipated hot seat he knew he and Cas would be shoved in once someone noticed their hands and decided to comment out loud. He could practically feel the building nerves radiating off of Cas with every step they took toward the room.

He really just wanted to pull Cas back into their bedroom and wait until Christmas morning when hopefully their heads would be clearer.

But they walked down the hall anyway and opened the door to a lively Christmas. Garth’s children sitting on the couch, dutifully watching The Grinch while Claire sat next to them, occasionally pointing at the screen explaining what was going on. Jack, Kaia, and Patience sat in concentration on the floor nearby as a Scattergories ticker wound down; Alex and Sam sat apart from each other, engrossed in some kind of conversation which, based on past experiences, probably had something to do with the latest crime documentary on Netflix; Eileen, Garth, Donna, Jody, and Bess all sat at a fold out table, their card game abandoned for some amusing story that occasionally had one or two of them laugh loudly over the TV. 

No one glanced at Cas and Dean as they slipped in, leaving the basket of snacks on a different table. An unspoken understanding passed between them and they split off with Dean going over to Alex and Sam and Cas heading over to the card game. 

Not a word was spoken about any rings or proposals for the rest of the night—

Until a few hours later when most everyone was in bed and Dean headed back to his room after brushing his teeth. 

A hand enclosed his wrist and Dean jumped, turning to see Sam holding up Dean’s hand, his eyebrows raised so high Dean was afraid they’d disappear into his hairline.

“You just weren’t gonna mention this at all?” Sam said, moving Dean’s wrist back and forth so his hand flopped around, the ring dancing in front of their eyes.

Dean sighed, disappointed he couldn’t rub Sam’s lack of personal observation in his face. 

And the fact he didn’t have more time to prepare his side of the inevitable conversation that was about to happen.

“Don’t see why I have to,” Dean tried to deflect, pulling his hand away to hold it up in front of Sam’s face properly, “You got two eyes, it speaks for itself.” 

“Dean—”

“Maybe we should go talk somewhere else since, you know, people are trying to sleep,” Dean said, moving away from Sam, back down the hall to the kitchen. If he had to stay awake a little while longer then he wanted cookies or something. Sam followed silently. 

Once inside the kitchen, Dean went straight for Garth’s cookie tin, delighted to find some sugar ones left. He stuck one in his mouth and turned around, trying not to laugh at Sam’s too-serious expression.

“You gonna go first or—” Dean started, gesturing to Sam.

Sam paused before letting out a small sigh of annoyance, sitting down at the table. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were doing this?”

“Doing what?”

“This!” Sam pointed at Dean’s left hand. Dean caught a glimpse of the ring as he brought his hand back up to finish the cookie. It was an absolute damn _delight_ to see. “The ring! You’re engaged now? What the hell man?”

“How do you know it was my idea in the first place?”

Sam gave him _a look_ , like he just _knew_ Dean _had_ to have been the one who did this because it’s not like _Cas_ would have, come on now—

“I’m serious Sam,” Dean said, smiling at the growing confusion on Sam’s face, “What makes you think I was the one that popped the question?”

Frowning, Sam glanced at Dean’s hand then back up to his face. Dean could easily play twenty questions with Sam, and win, but he had an appointment with someone who was currently waiting patiently in bed for additional celebratory activities. 

“We both had the same idea,” Dean explained, putting the cookie tin back on the counter, “Same idea. Same idea even for the ring design too which was hilarious—same idea for timing as well for the most part—so all things considered, it was a joint effort. Though we didn’t know it at the time we bought the rings.”

Sam sighed again, some of his indignation melting but he still had that all-too-familiar frown of annoyance directed at Dean. 

“So you still had the idea,” Sam said, “But you didn’t tell me? Did you tell anyone it was happening? You just left and came back with a ring on your finger.”

“Yes, yes, no, and yes,” Dean answered.

“Be serious.”

“I am.”

“I told you when I was going to do all that with Eileen,” Sam shot back.

“Because you needed help setting that up. I didn’t need your help here,” Dean explained. _We didn’t even realize what we were doing until it happened._

Sam swallowed hard, looking down at the floor. The illusion of playful teasing began to evaporate in Dean watching the reaction. Usually Sam would have cracked a smile now in any other situation.

It was Dean’s turn to sigh as he walked back over to the table and sat opposite Sam, staying quiet until Sam finally looked back up at him. 

“It’s just—It’s something you confide with people in,” Sam started, “Especially people who always wanted something like this for you but had to hear for _decades_ how it wasn’t ever gonna happen. And how everything would end fast and bloody in a deathmatch or something—it’s just something you confide in people. In your family, siblings, whatever.”

 _It_ was _something you confide in people,_ Dean agreed with Sam as he looked down at the table. And if they were any other family, if Dean were any other person—

Dean hesitated, trying to gather the small amount of explanation he was able to cobble together in his head during the car ride back from Glen Elder.

“I didn’t say anything because I didn’t even realize how much I wanted it until it happened,” Dean eventually said after a moment of silence. He looked back up at Sam who stared at him, waiting for him to continue.

“You had that ‘want’ before,” Dean continued, “You had already bought a ring once. You saw yourself there at the end of an aisle with friends and maybe family there. To me, it seemed easy for you to snap back into it once you found someone again. I was never there, Sammy. And that’s what I told Cas tonight as well. This—” Dean gestured around him, “—wasn’t ever in the card and we eventually learned just _how_ much it was never an option. 

Sam opened his mouth to say something but closed it, looking back down at the floor. Dean knew what almost came out of his mouth. 

_So what changed?_

Everything changed. 

An unstoppable force met a once immovable object; all the barriers that had been systematically and intricately placed in Dean’s life to make it nearly impossible to ever have a reality, or future, with happiness and love, were shattered by Cas by sheer will power. It wasn’t ever supposed to happen, not according to—

But it did.

And that itself was worth celebrating. That was something worth being loud over and showing to the world. That was worth everything in the world.

“But you didn’t even tell anyone when you got back,” Sam pointed out.

Dean smiled and shrugged, “We wanted to place bets. We actually figured you’d notice last.”

Sam rolled his eyes as he picked his head back up and Dean flashed a grin before dropping it completely, taking in a deep breath. 

“People will know,” Dean assured Sam, “We just need—it’s still a shell shock, at least for me, and judging by how quiet Cas was tonight, for him as well.”

Dean looked down at his hand like he did so many times that night just to make sure the ring was still there. He wondered if he’d ever get over the small swooping sensation in his stomach every time he caught a glimpse of it. 

“It’s such a shift for us, I think we needed the night to process it ourselves. Maybe even like, a week or something. We’re happy, but it’s still so brand new,” Dean said, thinking back to the park, the surge of confusion and emotion and adrenaline fueled giddiness that he hadn’t felt in a long time.

If ever. 

Sam nodded to himself, acknowledging Dean’s explanation. They lapsed into another momentary silence and Dean hoped Cas didn’t wind up falling asleep waiting for him—

“I’m really happy for you, for you both,” Sam said, a small smile finally forming on his face, “If anyone deserves it, it’s you two.”

“You do too,” Dean reminded Sam, “It’s not just me. You deserve it too. We all deserve it.”

The emotional ride of the day was finally nearing its end, but with it came the overwhelming resurgence of all the conjoined emotions. Dean closed his eyes briefly to keep it together. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” Dean conceded, sincere in his apology, “It wasn’t for reasons against you.”

“It’s alright,” Sam responded, standing up with a yawn, “I’ll kick your ass for it later.”

Dean laughed as he stood as well, ready to get to bed. 

They’ll have a longer discussion later, maybe. Or maybe they wouldn’t. 

Dean found that he didn’t have to explain himself as much anymore after that one, long discussion they had several years ago about it _all_. Sam absorbed that information and went forward completely understanding, for the most part, and for the stuff he didn’t get, he either didn’t comment or he asked about it in private. 

“You can try,” Dean mumbled with a smile on his face, leading the way out of the kitchen and back into the hallway.

They waved each other off as Dean got to his door. He waited until Sam rounded the corner, heading to his own room, before taking a deep breath to shake off the conversation. 

Serious, emotional rollercoaster ride was over. Sexy, fun ride was about to begin.

Opening the door, Dean walked into a half-darkened room and Cas on his side, bedside table lamp already off. 

“Are you already asleep?” Dean asked, hanging the robe up on the back of the door.

Cas mumbled something and Dean huffed. 

“I’m only asking because if I don’t have to take my pants off going to bed then that’d be swell. I wouldn’t mind the extra warmth—”

“I said ‘get over here’,” Cas said louder, eyes still closed but reaching back behind him, his ring catching Dean’s bedside light, pulling back the sheets. Dean grinned and obeyed, sliding out of his flannels, kicking them to the side. 

His side of the bed had stayed chilled despite a warm body right next to it and he hissed as he crawled under the sheet and comforter, immediately pressing himself against Cas for some kind of comfort. 

“Maybe you should have kept the pants on,” Cas complained as Dean felt him shiver. 

“Or you can warm me up, since I’m already here,” Dean suggested, pressing his mouth against the back of Cas’s neck. He had been waiting for this for hours. The hardest thing that night wasn’t keeping quiet about the rings or waiting for someone to notice—it was using all of his will power to not haul Cas into the bedroom by his shirt collar and release all that energy that had been building since he first saw Cas buy that ring.

“Shoulda gotten here sooner, m’tired now,” Cas mumbled, but still shifted his hips backwards. Dean let out another sharp breath and closed his eyes for a moment.

“Well, Sam cornered me, so—,” Dean said, trying to keep his hands to himself for a moment despite wanting to counter Cas’s movement.

Cas turned over slightly so he could look at Dean over his shoulder.

“What about?”

Dean said nothing.

“Really?” Cas asked, frowning, “That fast? We were clearly—”

“Wrong, yeah,” Dean said, sighing, “But we had a chat. He was more just upset that I didn’t tell him my plan, even though I didn’t really have a plan, before it all happened.”

“What did you tell him?” 

“That I didn’t say anything because I was trying to work through some things on my own, and that I needed to process the fact I had even gotten to that moment to begin with,” Dean explained, “And at the end of it, he was happy for us and said we deserved this.”

Cas hummed in response but said nothing as he took Dean’s hand, pulling it over to him and placing it on his chest. Dean held still, resting his hand there and feeling Cas’s heart under his palm. 

The feeling never failed to help ground Dean and to help remind him just how much they’ve gained over the years, how much they really did deserve any and all happiness and stability that came their way. A simple heartbeat to anyone else was a steady stream of comfort and love coursing Dean, always bringing him back to the moment. Gratitude, wonderment… joy. All of it.

And in that particular case, ramping up all the pent up energy that had already been simmering for weeks. 

Dean leaned forward and kissed Cas, gentle at first, not wanting to rush. It didn’t feel like the night for rushing.

“Do you want to tell everyone tomorrow after breakfast?” Dean asked, breaking away just far enough to ask the question. 

Cas, slow to open his eyes, nodded, “Let me tell Jack by himself first. I don’t want him confused with all the excitement.”

“Sounds like a good idea,” Dean said as he leaned back in, a little quicker and deeper. Cas responded in kind, letting go of Dean’s hand, freeing it up to wander where it really wanted to go. 

Little sleep came to them that night, preferring to express their love through actions, not words; pressed together, moving in sync with eyes for the first time not solely on each other, but on the gold bands wrapped around their fingers, catching the light every so often when they shifted on the bed, squeezing their hands with the slightest movement of hips or a mouth landed somewhere a little too sensitive. 

Their usual litany of murmured encouragements and declarations strengthened that night, elevating them to a new, previously unknown level of love and comfort. If the power of words could move mountains, theirs that night could shift continents in their entirety. 

They knocked their world off its axis, but it settled on a different one.

A far, far better one. 


	4. The Announcement

Despite having a bunker full of excited adults and children, no one woke up extra early to rush to the tree and open presents. 

Which gave Cas the perfect opportunity to find Jack and talk.

Jack had a simple morning routine, one that solidified into something that Cas could set his metaphorical watch by. It had started when he began homeschool, and it didn’t matter the day or the circumstance or time of year, he’d always wake up at 5 a.m., always watch cartoons with always the same bowl of cereal, take a shower at 6 a.m., then start his day. 

None of them understood _why_ it always had to be five in the morning, but once Jack had started doing it, it just became a well-known, comforting routine. 

Cas woke Christmas morning, Dean’s lamp still on, a little too warm as Dean plasted himself against Cas’s back. They had only gone to sleep a couple hours prior, intent on burning off some of that hot energy, but Cas didn’t sleep well. Laying there, half awake, he grabbed his phone, his ring reflecting some of Dean’s light, and checked the time. 

5:15 a.m., December 25. 

Jack would be up and chances are no one else. 

Cas, laid there for a couple more minutes, trying to anticipate questions Jack would have, if there would be any. He knew his nerves didn’t stem from Jack’s potential reaction to the news, but Jack had a tendency to ask the types of questions that caused Cas to sometimes think a little too deeply. 

Sometimes it was alright, but after the emotional night Cas and Dean had, Cas didn’t feel like prying into his inner self.

“Is it breakfast time?” Dean murmured against the back of Cas’s neck. 

Cas sighed and shut the phone off, turning over so he faced Dean who hadn’t opened his eyes yet. 

“No, I’m just going to go find Jack, it’s after five,” Cas whispered.

Dean said nothing, eyes still closed, and Cas wondered if he just went right back to sleep. Instead, Dean eventually moved his hand to cup the back of Cas’s head and drew him in to a light, sleepy kiss, eyes still closed.

“‘Kay,” Dean mumbled against Cas’s lips, “Merry Christmas, love you.”

Cas leaned in and kissed Dean, light and quick, a smile on his face. Everything just felt _good_. 

“Merry Christmas. I love you too.”

Jack sat cross-legged on the floor, bowl of Lucky Charms on the coffee table, staring at the TV. He had recently been into older cartoons, looney tunes one, and particularly favored the Road Runner. 

Cas hung around in the doorway to the TV den, watching Jack laugh, scooping up the last of his cereal. Over the years Cas had thought Jack sometimes looked _too_ alone during the morning, but quickly learned that Jack preferred the short moment of alone time he could get during the day.

Raising a hand, Cas knocked on the door and gave Jack a small smile when he turned around. 

“Merry Christmas Jack. Can I come in?”

Jack, spoon in his mouth, nodded, frowning with concern. 

“Merry Christmas—why are you up so early?” Jack asked, taking the spoon out to fish for the remaining marshmallow.

Cas sat in the armchair, trying to figure out how to start off. 

“I wanted to talk to you about something,” Cas eventually said, waving a hand when Jack looked at him, concerned, “No, nothing—you’re not in trouble. Nothing serious, nothing bad.”

Jack’s frown lessened slightly but he still stared at Cas with trepidation etched into his face. Cas didn’t blame him. Usually “we need to talk” wasn’t followed up by good news.

Pausing for half a second, Cas held up his hand so Jack could see the ring. 

“When did you get that?” Jack asked.

“Last night, it was a present,” Cas explained, holding out his hand as Jack shifted over to look at it more closely. 

Jack examined it and Cas almost thought about taking it off to show him the inside, but the selfishness of wanting to keep the inscription inside to himself and Dean caused Cas to keep it on.

“It looks—boring,” Jack said.

“Simple,” Cas corrected with a smile. 

“Yeah, simple. It looks simple.”

“But it’s special, do you know why?” Cas asked. This was what they were instructed to do with Jack to help him learn during school. Trigger his critical thinking skills, even with the smallest things. 

Jack paused, looking at it while he thought. 

“Because it’s a Christmas present from someone you love? Wait—” Jack frowned, looking up at Cas, “How come you got presents already?” 

“Yes, it’s a Christmas present from someone I love, and I received it early because it was special. But it’s special in another way,” Cas explained, “Does this ring remind you of anything?” 

Jack first shook his head but then looked back down at the ring in concentration. He inhaled when it finally clicked.

“Sam has a ring like this. It looks a little different, but I remember I called it boring too,” Jack answered, looking back up at Cas, eyes widening a little, “He got it when he asked Eileen to marry him right?”

Cas nodded, waiting for Jack to get the “lightbulb moment”.

He could practically see the wheels spinning as dots connected to dots. It took a minute, but Jack got there, blinking in surprise, eyebrows raised with a small smile on his face.

“Did you—are you and Dean… you’re getting married?” he asked, voice soft with astonishment. 

The actual marriage part, a wedding, however big or small that would be, was so far off that Cas hadn’t even a chance to dwell on what it would actually _be_ within the twelve hours he had the ring. 

“We’re engaged,” Cas said, glancing down at the ring. It still looked a little foreign but he knew over time it would morph into being just another part of himself. The words “engaged” and “marriage” also sounded foreign in his head, but also over time, they would become as familiar as Dean and Cas saying each other’s names. 

“So, you _will_ be married?” 

“Yes, at some point in the future.”

Jack nodded and looked back down at the ring with a smile. 

“Does everyone else know?” 

Cas shook his head, “No, I wanted to tell you first.”

“Why?” 

Sighing, Cas knocked his foot against Jack’s side, “In case you had any questions, because once everyone knows it’s going to be a little crazy, and you’re my son, our son, and deserved to know before anyone else. Though, I guess Sam figured it out already. We took bets on who would notice first, if anyone _would_ notice last night, but I had planned on telling you regardless.”

Jack nodded again, processing Cas’s words. 

“I don’t think I have any questions, at least none are coming to me.”

Cas raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

“Really?”

“Yeah I mean—” Jack stood. Cas followed suit. “You’re happy right?”

“Incredibly.”

“And Dean’s happy?”

Cas paused, thinking back to Dean’s excited face the night before, him constantly glancing at the rings and at Cas with a reassuring smile—the whispers of love and declarations of happiness that night in bed, only taking their eyes off each other to look at the rings in the golden light; the last few years, learning from each other and building off of each other; the harder times when it was difficult to understand each other but sitting down and making it work; the better times when all they could do was immerse themselves in each other to make up for all the lost time. 

Sometimes Cas would think back to the Dean he had first met and compare him to the Dean that’s next to him now and the difference remained so stark, it took his breath away. All of that change and yet Dean still was who he was. A change, but not one that took away what inherently made Dean, Dean. 

There were just more smiles now. 

“You’d have to ask him that for any concrete answer,” Cas said, but smiled, “However, I think it safe to assume that yes, he is.”

Jack leaned down to pick up his bowl, straightening back up with a sigh, looking troubled again. 

“What’s wrong?” 

Grabbing the remote, Jack turned the TV off, plunging them into silence. 

“I just—does this change anything?”

Cas frowned, “Change what?” 

Shifting, uncomfortable, Jack glanced at the door before looking at the floor, “I don’t know, just—anything?”

_Anything?_ Cas tried grasping at Jack’s implied meaning but came up empty. There’d still be movie nights, dinners, helping Jack with his school work, summer vacations to—

“I mean, Garth and Bess are married, right?” Jack continued, “And they have children, and Garth one year told me how much he changed from how he used to be before he got married. He seemed happy about it but—”

_Am I going to be replaced?_

_Am I going to be forgotten about?_

Cas’s imagination supplied the unspoken questions from Jack, particularly Jack’s emphasis on children. They were questions Cas figured Jack would ask. 

“Well, Dean and I are physically incapable of having children,” Cas started, putting at hand on Jack’s back as they headed to the door, “There are ways to make it work but I don’t think we’re—I don’t think that’s in the cards. We care very much about _you_ and that won’t change. I promise you that. As for Sam and Eileen, that’s their own choice if they wanted to extend their family but I can also promise you that they will never stop loving you either. I’ve come to learn that a healthy love doesn’t consist of a choice between one thing or another. It grows. It doesn’t replace.”

Jack nodded silently, still looking at the ground as they walked. 

“As for anything else changing… our story is different than Garth’s,” Cas continued, “Our change already happened. It happened before you, before these rings—it happened because of each other, much like Garth and Bess, but a long while ago. Nothing will be different.”

“Then, I don’t understand why it’s needed,” Jack said, gesturing to the ring, “If it changes nothing, then what’s the point?”

Cas smiled as they headed into the kitchen, looking at the ring. 

“It doesn’t change anything, but it enhances it.”

“What?”

Cas turned the water on and stood by, watching Jack clean his bowl. He had a habit sometimes of just leaving dirty dishes in the sink to the point where they sometimes had to stand next to him to make sure he washed up his things. 

“That’s a more complicated question that we don’t have time for this morning.”

Jack ran the bowl under the water before moving to put it in the dish rack when Cas stopped him, handing him the dish soap. Sighing, Jack took the soap and sponge and got to work. 

Cas’s mind shifted to the intended discussion with everyone else later that morning. If Sam already saw it, it was most likely others did too but just didn’t want to say anything until Cas and Dean did. They wouldn’t ask the same questions as Jack, which eased Cas’s nerves, but he still felt that he didn’t have all the answers _if_ they asked more questions. 

It was hard enough voicing things to Dean face to face, let alone having to explain to everyone else. 

No one at the table would refute their relationship, they never had before, nor would they speak out against their decision. However, Cas could preempt their confusion. It’d be the same confusion Sam had, and the same kind of confusion both he and Dean had when admitting to themselves they never thought they’d have a ring around their finger. 

It would be hard to re-tell that whole story of justification to an audience. 

Cas just hoped they’d accept that times very much were different than the ones when they had either first met Dean or first met Cas. Things were dramatically different. 

After Jack got ready for the day, they still had an hour and a half to kill before people would start waking up so he and Cas went back into the TV den to watch more cartoons. At some point, the lack of sleep caught up with Cas and he drifted off into a dreamless doze. 

A hand grabbed his shoulder and Cas jolted awake, sitting upright in the armchair.

“Sorry, sorry—I was saying your name but you conked out,” Dean said next to Cas.

Jack had left at some point but kept the TV on, and the little clock on the VCR box read 8:17 a.m. as Cas heard voices and laughter down the hall.

“Is everyone up?”

Dean nodded, “Yeah, figured you’d want to get ready before going out there and everything.”

Cas sighed and lifted himself out of the chair, stretching his hands high into the air, trying to work out any muscles that stiffened while hunched in the chair. He watched, amused, as Dean lowered his eyes, catching the part where Cas’s shirt rode up a little. 

“We have breakfast, presents, lunch, and then dinner with whoever’s left—pace yourself,” Cas teased, walking by Dean, patting him on the shoulder. 

A small noise escaped Dean who took Cas’s hand and pulled him over to the wall next to the door, out of sight of any wandering eyes in the hallway. That bright burning energy from the night before hadn’t left them, still laying in wait for whatever opportunity it may have to spring forward. Cas had a feeling it would be happening a lot today. They hadn’t finished celebrating.

Dean pressed himself against Cas, cupping his face in his hands. Cas could feel the cold of the ring against his cheek as they met for a deep kiss, trying to release just a little bit of the rising heat for now. Anything to ease up the pressure Cas imagined would be increasing throughout the day. He knew now would be one of several stolen moments taken throughout the day to keep themselves in check.

Maybe it was a mistake secretly proposing to each other with a bunker full of people they’d have to entertain, lessening their ability to celebrate for the appropriate amount of time needed after becoming engaged. 

“Merry Christmas,” Dean whispered against Cas’s mouth, smirking.

Cas smiled and brought Dean in for another quick kiss, trying to make the moment stretch out just a little longer. 

“Merry Christmas”

In the bedroom, Dean waited patiently as Cas took his time trying to decide which shirt to wear. Any other day he’d be letting Cas decide himself and wait for him somewhere else, doing any other activity, but they both understood what was going on. 

They were stalling. 

Cas already knew what he’d wear for Christmas day but he allowed himself to browse the dresser, seeing if maybe he could hold out just a little longer. 

Dean being there, saying nothing as Cas took his time was also a red flag. They didn't want to go out there just yet. 

“How did the conversation with Jack go?” Dean asked after a few minutes of silence, sounding nervous breaking the silence as he picked at a loose thread on the comforter. 

Cas, trying to decide which tie should go with the shirt he decided on, looked over at Dean with a reassuring smile.

“He was okay with it—thought our rings looked boring though.”

Dean laughed and looked down at his hand, “Well, compared to the rock on Eileen’s hand I can see his point.”

Cas hesitated before looking back at the ties.

“He also wanted to know if you were happy.”

Silence filled the room long enough for Cas to turn his attention back to Dean, watching him continue to pick at the thread. 

“Dean?” 

Swallowing hard, Dean looked up at Cas with a small smile, “Yeah, I’m happy.”

But he didn’t sound confident. Frowning, Cas put the ties back down and wandered over to the bed, sitting next to Dean. 

“Your face is betraying your words you know,” Cas said quietly, reaching out to still Dean’s hand, still worrying at the thread. 

Dean paused before looking up at Cas with a deep sigh, “I _am_ happy—just—it was only until you had gone this morning I was thinking to myself for a couple of hours just how insane it is that I’m still saying that, like—you’d think I would have gotten used to the fact that I _am_ , but that feeling came back. That fear thing.”

_That fear that if you voice your happiness, it’ll suddenly be gone_ , Cas’s head supplied the rest of Dean’s statement. 

The fear wasn’t unfounded. It _had_ been taken away before. It happened time and time again, finally ending with the worst possible outcome with Dean unsure if he’d ever see Cas again. 

Their track record with happiness had never been stable but they worked to understand in the last few years that it would be. They stopped being afraid of feeling that happiness, and if they’d get upset, or fearful that it would slip away, they’d voice that too to try and push back through it, back to the “happy”. 

But that ingrained sense of foreboding always caught them at some point, even if it was just a flash. 

Letting it out there, letting others hear it, letting themselves hear it, made it tangible, thus making it easier to take away. 

Cas didn’t know if they’d ever be able to shed that paranoia, though he hoped it would get better as time went on.

“I understand,” Cas answered, sliding his hand over to read for Dean’s left one, looking down at it as he fiddled with the ring, “But I’ll still say it. I’m happy with you, and I love you, and where we are now is not where we once were.”

Another moment of silence passed between them before Dean lifted his hand, bringing Cas’ to his lips. He pressed a kiss against Cas’s palm before Cas moved his hand to cup Dean’s cheek, drawing him in for a comforting kiss.

They did a good thing together, but the next few days would be full of high-highs and sporadic lows they’d have to pull each other out of. 

It’s what it was like at the beginning of their journey together once Cas had returned. It had been like that since the day they met, if Cas were to be honest with himself. 

Each step, each level, came with some trepidation, and once the initial high wore off for both of them, the fear and paranoia would seep in, if only briefly, to keep them in check. They couldn’t ever enjoy unbridled celebration, not until they metaphorically paid their “trauma dues”, as Dean liked to call it. 

It was Dean’s turn now, feeling scared of allowing himself to be so happy, knowing if it were any other time that the happiness would be snatched from him. Cas expected his turn would be coming up shortly, perhaps when the distraction of a bunker full of people would be gone.

“Are you ready?” Cas asked, giving Dean a moment to collect himself. 

Swallowing, Dean cleared his throat, pulling himself together, “Yeah let’s go do this.”

They got to the kitchen in time before Sam burned the pancakes. Dean shooed him out of the room to go sit at the table with everyone else in the library. Cas hung around with him, helping with the eggs since he too often burned the pancakes. They worked in silence but close together, allowing the nearness to strengthen their confidence as growing nerves threatened to take over. 

Being loud was grand in theory, but, once upon a time they were too scared to even whisper. They didn’t know how to shout. That was the whole point of the rings, for Cas at least. It could do the shouting for them.

They headed into the library where everyone else sat, the large Christmas tree and its hodge-podge of various decorations looming nearby. They chatted to each other while Garth’s youngests and Jack kept eyeing the numerous gifts piled under the tree.

Cas and Dean walked into the final moments of any normality they had built over the years, ready to jump into the new normal, supported by their words and actions the previous night. They said they wanted to be loud, they wanted to celebrate, enhance whatever work they had already done and let their friends and family see the next step taken. 

Dean reached out and ruffled Jack’s hair after depositing his dishes onto the table, and Cas watched as Jack smiled before reaching for the pancakes. 

It was the little things.

It took Cas and Dean only a moment to realize, as everyone carried on with their conversation, they didn’t figure out who would make the announcement, or when. 

As they all started eating their breakfast, Cas and Dean glanced at each other, trying to figure out silently who’d break the news. Dean eventually nudged Cas’s foot under the table and Cas glanced down to see Dean’s left hand clenched in his lap, a fist ready to go. Cas did the same and they both bounced them to the count of three.

Dean lost with paper against Cas’ scissors. 

Smiling, Cas went back to his meal, eyebrows raised, waiting for Dean to begin. 

He felt rather than heard the sigh next to him as Dean went to grab a butter knife, taking aim at his glass. 

The moment had arrived. 

Dean tapped the glass, ringing it enough times to bring everyone’s attention off of each other and onto him. Cas took a large bite out of his pancake, staring at the plate, suddenly nervous with everyone’s eyes directed in his direction, if not exactly at him. 

“Alright, hey everyone. First off, Merry Christmas,” Dean said, and everyone mumbled Merry Christmas back, mouths stuffed with food. Dean cleared his throat, “I… _we_ —” Dean emphasised, looking down at Cas who felt the heat rising in his face, “–got something to say and wanted to—”

“What is that on your finger?” 

Cas looked over to Jody who sat across from them, wide eyed, pointing her fork at Dean. She looked up at him, over to Cas, then back over to Dean. Cas glanced around to everyone else who now also frowned, looking at Dean hand, then over to Cas’s. The pure comical beat of it all almost made a sudden eruption of laughter escape from Cas, but he managed to hold it down, staring at his pancakes.

Dean paused, and Cas saw his hand move behind his back.

“What do you think it is?” Dean asked, tone laced with a sweet kind of teasing which Cas knew would only agitate Jody.

“Dean—”

“We’re engaged, Jody,” Cas said, smiling as he looked up at her, holding up his hand as well.

The room stayed silent for only a moment before sharp sounds of congratulations filled the room, everyone talking over each other amid the scrapes of chairs, adults standing to walk over to them, crowding around and tugging at their hands, wanting to see the rings up close. Sam and Jack hung back while everyone else, except for the children who instead went to the presents, asked questions and gave their hugs of congratulations. 

No one questioned anything other than _why the hell didn’t you tell us last night?_ and _when’s the wedding?_

Some like Jody, Donna, and Garth had tears in their eyes (Jody specifically took Dean aside away from the group to talk to him), while others like Claire and Kaia just drew Cas in for a hug, Claire telling Cas quietly that she was happy for him, and proud—

And for Cas and Dean alone, they exchanged looks at each other as the group finally moved over to the tree to unwrap their presents, happy that the rings did what they were supposed to do. 

They made it loud. 

They sat Jack down in the kitchen after the last of their guests left. Sam and Eileen took a quick trip to the store in Red Cloud to restock on groceries, giving Dean and Cas time to talk to Jack. Or, more specifically, for Dean to talk to Jack.

The three of them each had their own pint of ice cream in front of them, helping to keep the mood light. 

“So you’re really okay with it all?” Dean asked, shoving the spoon in his mouth, “It’s okay if you’re not.”

Jack nodded, frowning in concentration as he tried to form the perfect scoop with his spoon, gathering as many chocolate chunks as he could, “Yeah, Cas told me nothing would change. Nothing’s gonna change right?” 

He asked as he finally managed to secure the proper amount of chocolate, looking up at Dean. Cas picked at his own ice cream, not hungry enough to eat as much as Dean and Jack. He still had nerves, and he didn’t know why. 

Dean swallowed and nodded, “Absolutely nothing will change, other than us sporting some expensive hardware now.”

Jack smiled and went back to his ice cream, “Cas told me to ask you if you’re happy since it’s a question you have to answer.”

They fell into a brief silence and Cas glanced over at Dean who took a moment for himself.

“Yeah, I’m happy—I got Cas, this family, _you_ ,” Dean said, leaning in a little to make sure he got Jack’s focus, “And a lot of other things to be happy about.”

Jack glanced at Cas, keeping the smile on his face before diving back into his chocolate mission.

Cas tapped Dean’s foot with his own and managed to catch his attention, giving him a reassuring smile. Dean had stated it clearly, without any visible fear or concern, that yes, he was happy, and he had many reasons to _be_ happy. The small shift of paranoia earlier had eased itself off as they moved through the day with the people they loved and Cas had visibly seen Dean relax. Sitting next to him, Cas didn’t feel the tension that oftentimes came with the brief shots of that old kind of fear that’d haunt them. 

They finished their ice cream as the conversation dissolved into Star Wars again, having put on a movie marathon earlier in the afternoon while everyone enjoyed their Christmas presents, particularly Jack who got a pretty intricate replica of Luke’s green lightsaber. Cas sat and listened as Jack and Dean laughed, engaging in a heavy debate on whether Han Solo was, in fact, a Jedi before moving off to talk about one of the follow up TV shows.

It was a small scene, one that wasn’t unfamiliar to Cas, but something that provided him with that sense of love and happiness that had once eluded them all for so long. 

Cas glanced down at his hand again, then over to Dean’s, unable to look away from the rings that were so small but that symbolized so much they wanted to say to the world.

We’re in love. 

We are _happy._

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> I had asked for fluffy or smutty prompts the other day on Tumblr to break out of the spiraling funk that is the SPN finale puzzle, as well as trying to rewrite everything how I want to do it (that's a project that will be published in the future).  
> I loved this prompt, I thought it was really cute!  
> So, just a small little fic <3  
> I also love fluffy Christmas stories soooooooo there we go lol.  
> I hope you enjoyed reading! <3
> 
> Prompt fic: "Help, I think I saw my boyfriend buying a ring for me? I've been holding onto MY ring for THEM for two months waiting for the right moment to propose!"
> 
> \--
> 
> Part two notes! Photo is from Ce L when you Google Glen Elder State Park, it pops up in the "photos" area. I couldn't not use it, it was really beautiful!  
> So the actual proposal! I won't lie, before the finale, I never gravitated toward proposal fics or marriage fics but as 15 progressed, and especially post-15, I'm like... I'm here for it. Lol. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed their little moment together! <3 
> 
> I'm also making this the first fic in my 'Post 15, Jennifer's Canon' world series. I say it's my canon because I'm currently rewriting 1520 for myself and will base some headcanon off of that (which, regardless if the finale was good or not, I'd be setting up a post-show world). 
> 
> There are some references to fics I will be writing that I included in this chapter. Can't wait to get them out! Some may seem obscure right now ("Wait, does Dean work at a roadhouse?" which I answer: Yes, he does. And you'll get that story about how it came to be soon!) 
> 
> So yes, I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well! <333 Jen
> 
> \--
> 
> Chapter 3 end of story notes:  
> Merry Christmas Eve, or Christmas in general, or hey maybe it's July by the time you come to this!  
> This chapter hit me over the head this morning as I was at work, wanting to feel something Christmas-y. I had intended to just reblog on Tumblr the two chapters already up, but then I went "Well... no one knows yet!" ("no one" meaning their Christmas crowd and Sam of course!). 
> 
> There will be one more chapter after this. 
> 
> <3 Merry Christmas everyone, and I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it
> 
> Jen


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